Why isolation is key in Life
Today I looked outside of my home, took in the view and reflected on my hard work over this past year. I looked around and saw all the things that I now have, that I had wished to have had for years, and all of the things that I no longer have. Most importantly, I noticed that all of the people that are no longer a part of my life which has ultimately been the catalyst for me to grow beyond my imagination. Many aspects of my life have changed over the past year; most importantly, I have become a better human being.
I believe that you begin to know that you’re changing for the better when your heart starts to feel a little purer; you become a humbler human. You will notice very small as well as some larger changes beginning to take place in your life. You will find yourself learning to love the things that you once did; you will see the beauty in the small moments of life that you’ve lost track of. You will see the beauty of isolating yourself from everything and every toxic person in your life. You will have fewer toxic relationships weighing you down. You will find yourself prioritizing your life’s goals and dreams.
Personally, my life goals are significantly different from what they were a year ago. This isn’t a surprise to me, I have worked very hard to get to where I am today. I have made all sorts of changes in an effort to transform my life into what it is today. All of these changes haven’t taken place all at once, they couldn’t have. It has consisted of many slow, steady and consistent ones. It’s been hard; I won’t lie, it’s hard to let go of bad habits, bad relationships and most importantly of who you thought you wanted to be. The hardest thing for me has been to let go of the person I had envisioned myself of becoming. Why??? I think that we create this image of who we thought we wanted to be starting at a young age. We then created habits and got into relationships according to that persona that we were trying to emulate. Herein lies the start of a chain reaction. Years later you wonder how you got there or got so consumed with being someone you wouldn’t even like in real life. This is why it’s crucial to stop and smell the roses once in a while. Here, you will see the importance of reevaluating your past, present and future. We need to STOP for a second and rethink this thing called life. It’s very important to acknowledge all of the information that you have learned over the years; not only about the world itself, but also about yourself. As humans we are constantly learning. It’s impossible for you to be the person that you envisioned to be 10 years ago. All of the experiences that you have had have shaped you along the way, or so I hope so. You should have learned the things that are of most importance to you and what isn’t. I want to believe that 10 years ago, the things that were important to me, were important because others told me that they needed to be important and they took the time to teach me the value in them. Today, I have a clear understanding of the things that are important to me, and not because of others influence but, because of my own life experiences. Today I make my own decisions based on what matters to me the most based on my values.
I have had a vision for a long time of who I wanted to be. I have been working on it ever since. I believe that I have even made some of these changes subconsciously. I slowed down, realized that I was going too fast in the wrong direction and took action. I took the time to stop and learn from every fall. After every past challenge and bad decision, I have isolated myself to become this version of Marcel that I am today. I have taken the time to understand the “why” in so many situations that I have had found myself in. I have questioned why certain things have happened to me. I have tried to understand the necessary changes that needed to take place in order for me to move forward and to take the path less traveled. Every time you find yourself in an unfortunate situation, try to look into everything that led you there. I always ask myself, what did I learn from this? What did I need to learn from this experience to be able to get to the next level in my life?
We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. There are certain situations in our lives in which we are solely responsible for. However, there are many others that we aren’t fully in control of. The majority of the time we allow these types of situations to occur because of pure innocence and naïveté . Today I understand that there are people that are always going to be a step ahead of you; who do not have the greatest intentions. There are many factors that help them maintain the upper hand; their knowledge, experience and lust for greed. We must learn to have more control over these type of circumstances by recognizing them from the outset. These mistakes, which I like to refer to them as “choices”, are not here to define you but to allow you to grow and develop in to a better self; Like a Butterfly. It’s a part of life. We are constantly evolving as individuals. I personally have been very naïve in this life. I’m glad to be able to say that these experiences and my encounters with different types of individuals are the ones that have allowed me to fly as far as I have today. I wanted to fly as far as I could from all of it.
We all have dreams and aspirations. However, in order to achieve these dreams, we must take actions to make them a reality and in some cases that means again, isolating yourself. There are many risks and sacrifices that you are going to deal with in order to be able to accomplish them. You will need to stay focused regardless of how hard life gets. You will have learned to believe in yourself when no one else does. For some of us, we will be the first ones to take the first steps and risks out of our friends, family and close ones. This adds another type of pressure. Most of the time we know what we want but we don’t know how to get it. Therefore, a lot of our actions are based on instincts and too much optimism. Thus, our decisions will be judged by others who can’t quite get a grasp on our visions let alone our dreams. Surprisingly, these will be the same people that will tell you how to live your life and how to do things that they have never done for themselves nor have they applied in their lives. My one piece of advice; Listen but step to the beat of your own drum. You can take in what you may feel can be helpful. You can consider their input, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, do not allow their input to determine your next move.
There are moments in your life when you are going to be surrounded by people where you’ll be asking yourself if you’re in with the right crowd. Are these the people that are going to mold you into becoming the best version of yourself; who you strive to be? Are they going to remind you of the reasons that you started when you most need it? Do they inspire you? Do they make you work harder? Or do they make you settle with what you have? Are they ok with where they are in life? Are they working towards bettering themselves? Will they give you strength when you feel weak? When you are feeling tired and wanting to give up, are they going to push you beyond your limits? Are these the people that will pull you to aside when they notice that you have deviated from your goals? Are they here to see you win? Or are they here to make sure you lose? Are they going to be the 1st ones to stand up and clap for you? Or the ones that will sit in the front row and take credit for all of your years of hard work? If the answer is no, then you need to keep reading.
There are people out there that will help you become better. Their presence and strive to become better will inspire you to work harder. It will allow you to see the potential within yourself that has been hidden for years; suppressed. Their level of energy won’t drain you, it’s actually quite the opposite; you are the one feeding off of them. These are the people that you might want to live by. These may be or may not be people that have figured some things out that you might still be working on, and that’s ok. These are the people you should invest your time in. Their purpose in your life is to inspire you every day. These inspirations do not have to be economic. These inspirations can arise simply by the way that they conduct themselves on a day-to-day basis. They will trigger some electric switches inside your brain. We will call these types of people; “potentials “, they will bring out the best in you.
Now, let’s talk about the people of which their sole purpose in life is to feed off of others; “feeders”. For example; Have you ever felt drained after talking to someone for only 15 mins? I personally have felt that way. I have felt the energy that I worked on for a whole week leaving my body, being drained by one single person in less than 15 mins. And, that my friend is the signal to run! These are the people that want to be you. They want to figure out what you and feel as though they’ve been working by your side the whole time. These are people that are great at hiding their envy towards you. These people are the ones that will show you just enough love and support here and there just to maintain a social relationship with you. Their main purpose in life is to rob people of their energy, opportunities, time, love and greatness. They will be by your side and show you as much loyalty as you need them to. They will manipulate you into thinking that they are great for you. But, in all reality you are just a benefit to them. You might not see it right away or you might not want to, they have even manipulated that part of your brain. These are the most harmful individuals you will ever get to encounter.
There are many people that are here to teach us lessons. For example, have you ever encountered a bum in the streets? I remember when I had my 1st encounter with one, my immediate thought process was, I don’t ever want be that person. Some individuals won’t show us who they are directly; their actions will. Regardless of how or when these people will show us who we don’t want to be or become. What we don’t want to end up doing for the rest of your life. What life we don’t want to have. I believe they are a constant reminder of what we don’t want for ourselves. We will call them; “teachers”. We also have the people that are just waiting for us to fail. The ones that will always have something negative to say. To these people, it doesn’t matter how much you have grown over the years, how much time you have invested in bettering yourself, or if you aren’t the person you used to be. To them, you will always be the same Marcel they used to picked on and we will call them; “the critics” but I I could choose I would name them the “miserables”.
I have learned to appreciate my own personal space which we will call; the “creative space”. I have learned the importance of giving myself this space where I can analyze my day, week, month and the path that I’m currently on. I am my worst critic. Sometimes you will overanalyze and torture yourself for not being where you want to be. This will push you. Here you will also admire all these small changes that you have worked so hard on and are not unnoticed by others. People are very quick to judge others, criticize others in in an attempt to redirect their focus from themselves. Don’t ever allow these outside voices to trick you into doubting yourself, your decisions and growth. In order to grow you must go through negative experiences to find what it is that you truly want in life. It’s up to you to understand why these changes are necessary. Remember that you have most control of the things that happen in your life. You create your own luck. In order to succeed and evolve, you must learn to let in the good things that life consistently puts out there and for that to happen, you must let go! You must shake off the bad vibes. Make room for those people that will help your turn the pages of the story of you. Don’t ever be scared of change. Go with the flow and don’t be ignorant towards it. Continue to ride the wave, the wave of your life!