It’s been killing me not to be able to share with you guys what Zack and I have been up to. As you guys know, we haven’t done things the usual way. From the beginning of our relationship we have not followed the traditional outline that society has drawn up for us to follow. Our relationship has developed based on living in the moment, and as cliché as it might sound, by following our hearts and love for one another. Like any relationship, there have been series of events that have bought us together and to where we stand today. These events have compelled us to work as a team. Ultimately, it has helped us to develop the skills necessary for us to stay together for years to come, well, so I hope so (lol). I believe that because I’ve been in the NOT so “right relationship” before. I can appreciate everything that we have been through a little more. It gives me the reassurance I need in order to know that this time around it’s right. I’m also 100% positive that it also has helped develop our trust for one another; making this thing called a partnership stronger than ever.
Our love and trust for one another has surprisingly revealed itself in the most horrifying situations; the burglary back in December at my home in Saddle Brook, NJ. After only 4 months of dating/going out/ being boyfriend and girlfriend we decided to move in together. I know it sounds crazy to make that type of commitment after only 4 months of dating, but when you know, you just know. What’s even more insane to me its how everything came full circle. I had purchased my Saddle Brook home before meeting Zack. My plans for my life were different then. To be completely honest, I had given up on Love. I was exhausted; the dating, the searching, the time invested, and the up and down roller-coaster rides. I was mentally done; that’s why I decided to join Match.com. My last resort. I felt hopeless like most of the single community does.
In the meantime, I had decided to create a beautiful life for myself where I was happy, at peace and simply complete. I had purchased a home in Saddle Brook with the hopes of turning it into my dream home. I envisioned my kids running down the stairs where I would be screaming at them for being too loud. I even went as far as accepting that there would be a time where I would want to become a mother. Yes, I’m admitting that I had calculated all these future events and I had made up my mind. I had decided that when the time came I would either have to select a dad or look into the latest technology for help in order to conceive. Yes! I know I’m crazy, but I’m a realest. I’ve always been one and this wasn’t the exception. I wanted a peaceful life and a partner who loved and respected me. But for some odd reason we couldn’t find each other. I have always had choices; but not specifically the ones I would settle for. I didn’t want someone that loved going out and who was about that night life; that simply was not going to work for me. I had a list of things that I did not want in a potential suitor and a list of things that were a MUST.
When I met Zack, we both didn’t think it was going to work. We had barely anything in common. But, in honesty…Do you really need to? Is it true that opposites attract? It’s crazy how sometimes, we may envision what we are looking for but what we need is the complete opposite. Since the day I met him I knew he was the one. I loved him instantly and the chemistry was undeniable. Looking back, we both have agreed that due to our schedules and the distance, we would have never made it. I choose to believe that it was the burglary in my Saddle Brook home that brought us together and drove us to take that huge step to move in together. We officially have 10 months living together and one year and 2 months since the 1st time I laid eyes on him. We have decided to commit even more into this relationship. Yes! We have!!! After 10 months of living together we have decided to make one of the biggest decisions a relationship can ever make; to invest together into BUYING OUR 1st HOME. YES!!!! You read it correctly! I am in disbelief too. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think God had this in store for me so quickly and at such a damn right time. Exactly a year and a day after closing on my Saddle Brook home, I’m purchasing a new home with the love of my life; with a new love, vision, life plans and hope.
This decision has come with a lot of deep thinking and concerns. Since I committed to Zack and to our partnership; my life has consisted of major revaluations of my wants and needs. I’m sure Zack has gone through the same; how it should be. If you are truly committed to someone, this will be something that should come natural to you and to your partner. It’s no longer about what is beneficial to you or him; it’s about what is valuable to us and our future. It’s about taking the necessary baby steps to that common dream. Its about all the joined sacrifices that need to take place for a better life together.
Some of the questions that drove us insane were the following: What should our budget be? How much can we actually afford, without restraining ourselves from living? How much are we willing to spend on a mortgage? How will this monthly mortgage payment impact our lifestyle? What monthly mortgage payment will create stress into our relationship? How much are we willing to go over budget? And for what are we willing to spend more? How many vacations are we willing to give up in order to live better on a daily basis? Is there a medium/ balance, and if so can we find it? Do we value going out to eat more often and vacationing more than living lavishly? How will this monthly expense affect any of our current/future goals? The list goes on. All of these questions have made us change our perspective and focus every month. If we were going to do this, we needed to budget and cut expenses. We needed to make financial sacrifices since the begging of our relationship. Now, where’s the romance in that ???(lol). Those are the things people fail to mention. But, I WONT!
Before I decided to move in with him, I stressed the huge change that it would be for me. I would be moving into NYC, from a different state. I would have to commute 3-4 times a week to Paterson, NJ to manage my income properties. I would also have to visit my property in Saddle Brook, NJ, which I was currently rehabbing at the time. I still needed to attend physical therapy for my ankle and I had to let go of almost everything I owned in order to fit into his NYC apartment. The reason why I mention all of the above circumstances is for your guys to understand all of those sacrifices that I had to commit to and all the things I would be leaving behind. It was a huge step on my end because at the time, I was the one taking all of the risk. It was a one-sided, terrifying situation to be in. If it didn’t work, I would have been left with nothing and would have to start all over. As a female without both of her parents this is a terrifying situation I would NEVER put myself under. But, I did, for him.
If it DID work, however, I would later have the uncertainty of “what next?”. Should we stay another year in this apartment or move to a more comfortable and more “Marcel” type of apartment? This would entail additional moving costs again. If we do decide to move, how much should we be paying for rent and for how long? Will this move prevent us from living a better life? After a couple of months living together in our Manhattan apartment it started to feel as if the walls were closing in around us. We had to start stressing the inevitable. We did not fit in his NYC apartment and we had to move.
At first, we welcomed the idea of renting in Weehawken, NJ. It was exciting to move into a luxury apartment with breathtaking views of NYC, a gym, parking and all of the amenities you can think about; the dream apartment. After looking into an apartment for months and giving a security deposit for a corner unit, 2-bedroom, 2 bath apartment; I got cold feet. It just didn’t sit well with me; paying so much while still being a tenant. I have been fortunate enough to never have had to rent. This would be a first for me and I just couldn’t get through to the fact that I would’ve been throwing away all of this money; thousands of dollars just thrown away. It would be wonderful, but for how long? Most people would have had taken that route. Not me.
I decided to be my bold self and asked Zack; would you be crazy enough to buy a house with me? He then asked, “it’s that what you really want?” I replied, “YES!” to my surprise he said, “ok”. I’m not sure what had I expected but, where I come from (lol), that could have gone so many different ways (lol). The rest its history. Never In my wildest dreams did I ever envision to be living in the neighborhood that I get to call my home today. I prayed so hard for a man like Zack. I never envision this man making so many of my dreams a reality just a year later.
While many went to Capri, Mykonos, and Punta Cana this summer, Zack and I were in the search for our 1st home together. After buying my Saddle Brook home and breaking my ankle, I promised myself that once I got better I would go to the Amalfi Coast. I said to myself; you deserve this, you have sacrificed enough throughout all of these years. God had greater plans, dreams and opportunities in store for me. I hope you get to see those opportunities too and make the necessary sacrifices in order to turn those dreams into a reality. I’m a dreamer and a do-er; I will always strive for more. To many of my friends, I strive for too much and have spent my whole life sacrificing what I want for this reoccurring dream. To most, I haven’t enjoyed much. I had someone go as far to say to me; “Marcel, how come you don’t go on vacation?” I couldn’t even believe that someone would say that. It would seem as If I don’t vacation when in all reality, I have traveled 10 times as more than them. People have some nerve (lol). That’s why today I’m able to cross goals off on my list while he isn’t. How many people can say they have done that? Or that they did that this summer? It’s small minded people that are able to create unnecessary pressure for those that are trying to get ahead. Those are the people we need to become aware off.
It’s not easy to get to where you see yourself ending up in life. What has worked for me over the years, is where I’ve visualized where I could see myself ending up; Walking through the hallways, sitting on top of the counter tops that I’ve picked out for my freshly renovated kitchen while having a glass of my favorite Sauvignon Blanc. You need to remember your sense of worth, and the fulfillment that you’ll feel on the day that you’re handed those sets of keys. Every vacation that you’ve missed out on and every purse, pair of shoes that you didn’t buy will all make sense in that one second.
In my wildest dreams did I ever think exactly a year from buying my Saddle Brook home I would be closing on what it will be my 6th property; 1st home! It’s crazy just to say it out loud let alone to write it. This goes to show that we might think we have control of our future, but in all reality we don’t. What we do have control over are our actions.
All we can do is prepare ourselves for these amazing opportunities. When the time its right, we are able to make magic happen.