Life isn’t a race. It’s not a competition between siblings, friends, your old self or with anyone else in your life. I believe it’s more like a roller coaster than a straight path. If everyone looked at life from this perspective, in general, I believe our daily lives would be much easier on us. Imagine a world with less pressures, less stress, less competition, less hate; it sounds like a happier place to me. I am a dreamer and I choose to believe in that we all were all chosen because we all have gifts and a purpose on earth. I choose to contribute to the world anything and everything I think might be beneficial to anyone else; I rather give than to take. I have always dreamed of a world where everyone is helping one another; pulling you up rather than stepping on one another. This blog is not about the world, but about us as humans and our tendencies to compare ourselves to other people and not trusting the process and Gods timing. When things aren’t going as planned we tend to look into each other’s lives and compare ourselves and our current situation to others. Its hard not to do so, believe me. However, it’s the worst thing you can do.
Everyone’s journey, time and paths are different
We might go as far as asking ourselves why them? and, not me or vice versa. We forget to understand that life it’s all about timing and stages. We must learn to live and welcome all of them. Its natural to want to rush your timing; we all want things in our own terms and time. As you become older, and hopefully wiser (lol) you come to understand how necessary and important that time in between is.
It’s hard to turn bad situations into positive ones; it’s all a mind game.
Sometimes we have to see past the current situation and look towards the future. I personally believe every bad situation could end up benefiting you in the long run. The answers might not be as obvious; we might have to think deeper. For example, I got burglarized. I lost everything of value that I’ve ever owned. Some of these things can be replaced while others cannot; sentimental ones. To a lot of people, these things were only material possessions. However, to me, they represented different moments in my life. They were a reminder of a past love, of a job accomplishment, a new house, a new career path, my 15th birthday present from my mom, a family heirloom (my grandmother’s ring), etc. In other words, we end up associating material things with specific times in our lives. For someone that has been forced to live by memories since an early age, not having these tangible things was hard to accept. It was hard to digest that I no longer had these tangible items, nor the moment, nor the person, just memories.
On the contrary, maybe this was what I needed; to let go of everything I used to be. Maybe this was the push that I needed to rebuild my life. I have worked so hard on becoming the best version of myself and to leave bad habits behind and everything that has hurt me. Maybe these tangible items were holding me back because they were a constant reminder of my old life, my old self and the people in it. Regardless if I want to admit it or not, these material things were ultimately making up for many lonely and disappointing moments in my life. For when I got a promotion and I had no one to say how proud they were of me, for when I bought my 1st house and I couldn’t look at my mom’s eyes looking back at me, for when I bought my 2nd house and 3rd house and I sat at the table with no one next to me. I’m not saying that I don’t like name brands, because I think I always will, it’s just my thing. I Love fashion. However, I no longer need them to feel happy or to gain any validation. I do feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It feels as if I got a second chance to a fresh start. I’m grateful for that. I know it will be hard to obtain such a massive collection again, it might take me years. But, that’s ok. I feel as if I have to start all over again. It’s weird how life works. It feels as I became one of those girls that once wished to be me or wished to have the things I once had. As if, I’m again at the begging of the race; see how life works! My priorities have changed. Therefore, I don’t think I will ever hold a massive collection of name brands as I once did. I’m also not in a rush or in a race with anyone.
This time around I have someone that has brought out the best in me even when I have fought against it. The person I want to be and I have work for so long to become. Now, everything seems extremely clear and right. Someone completely different; at first sight, it actually scared me. But, that’s another blog lol. He is everything I need and needed for a long time. He is not into material things and has shown me a different side of life that I had lost track of; therefore, he will keep me grounded and focused. Sometimes we get consumed in moments and with things in which we miss all the good things that life throws at you. When we realize these opportunities have passed us by, we’re left with the unpleasant feeling of being stuck; being the same person you once were two years ago. Why??? Because we have a hard time accepting change.
With this being said, maybe coming back to an empty house after a nice vacation in Hawaii made me realize how full my heart finally is. I used to fill all the emptiness in my heart with material things. And for once I don’t feel the need to. Its weird to even feel this way because sometimes we fall in love so deeply with someone that you can’t imagine ever falling back in love. But, if I were to be completely honest, I’ve never fallen in love like this before. I never have had someone in my life who made me feel so full. And so genuinely happy. If I needed to start all over again from the finished line to be able to see things this clear, then I couldn’t feel any more Grateful.
Maybe the burglary happened for a strange and sick reason. It actually brought my boyfriend and me closer… we moved in together lol it doesn’t get any closer than that. I also feel that I’m on the path of becoming the best version of myself. I had it all; lost it all and gained a new zest for life. I’m at the starting all over, and that’s ok. It’s not about you makes it first, but about you learned the most; remember that.